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How Things Work VS. How Things Look

   
Author: Robert Crutchfield
 

A partial look at how men and women see the world differently.

I am about to do something very dangerous. Anytime you make generalizations about how men and women see things differently, exceptions are inevitable. It has been my observation that as a rule men are more concerned with how things work, do they or dont they function ? I have also observed that women as a rule are more concerned with how things look, with making everything nice.

Its possible that this goes all the way back to the beginning. When I think about these twin observation I am reminded of the more traditional gender roles in the family. Throughout much of human history the man has been the hunter/gatherer. This could lead him to be more concerned about getting the job done. Traditionally women on the other hand have been the nurturing ones. They have been the ones who maintain the nest. This could lead women with being concerned wit making everything as nice as possible for everybody.

But how does this affect our relationships here in the 21st century ? Obviously gender roles withing the family have changed dramatically since the first families roamed the earth. This is especially true of the last 50 years or so. However some of the old tendencies may remain from the old days. If so they could have major impacts on how modern spouses interact, and neither will even know that anything is going on !

It does mean that wives should keep in mind, that we men will not be as sensitive to issues of cleanliness as they will. We men in turn need to be more aware of the neatness of our surroundings. We should remind ourselves that the neater, and cleaner our surroundings, the happier our wives will tend to be. Our marriages would be stronger if we used their standard for such things instead of our own.

Our wives should work at being more understanding that sometimes things work better even if they dont necessarily look better in a certain situation. Sometimes we men are not trying to clutter your world up. We are just trying to balance the technical realities as we understand them.

This is one of those many areas where communication is key. Both husbands, and wives need to be more open about why things need to be done a certain way. We also need to be careful not to takes such differences personally. Men and women naturally approach things from at least slightly different perspectives. Most married men and women, are constantly trying to understand each other. Be flexible to the needs of your spouse. This last part is really important in this day of two career homes. Each spouse should try to do things in a way that doesnt make the other feel as if they are creating extra work around the house.

 
 
 

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