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  Index › Teens & Children › Peer Relationships
   
 

Should Relationships Be Reciprocal?

   
Author: Stephanie Manley
 

Have you ever had a one-sided relationship with someone? Have you ever wondered what your role with another person was? Sometimes having the friend that only speaks about themselves, their interests, or what is important leaves you to feeling drained. What do you do? What do you give up to be involved with such a person?

Friendships, as well as romantic relationships are all about being there for another person. Sometimes they are there for you, sometimes you are their support system. What do you do when you realize that you are the one giving, and they are the one taking all of the time? It takes so much away from any person to constantly give. Now you have some options.

You can continue to be a giving person, and continue to stay in the role that you are in. While it may be the easiest, it may not be best choice for you. We all have breaking points, and it is difficult to allow someone to push you to that limit all of the time. If you have a point of stress in your life you can't fix, or you can't eliminate it may eventually drag you down.

Another choice is to confront the person. You can do it in a nice, and loving way. Telling this person what you are sensing may make a change in their actions. You can do this in a humorous way, a serious way, or an unemotional way. You are doing yourself a huge favor by letting that person know, continuing the relationship is difficult for you. By telling someone how you feel, puts the problem back on the other person. So the next time they call, or stop by for a chat, you can end the conversation without the guilt if and when they start their one-sided conversation.

Your next option if great if you don't want the confrontation. Start to scale back on your time involved with the other person. Simply cut phone conversations short, being busy when they need you. You can be less responsive when they talk, most people will get the hint.

One thing I have noticed is that you have to make an active choice when dealing with these people when they become emotional leeches. You need to be true to yourself. If you need to find another friend, while not easy, it is something you should do. If the person just let the friendship/relationship get out of balance, and they are a good person, they will put the relationship right.

 
 
 

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