World War One drafted many young men off the farm where three generations or four sometimes occupied the same house. The returning survivors might have returned to the farms but exposure to European cities often spoiled them for farm life. Industry wanted labor near the rail hubs and made the pay attractive. Between wars the Great Depression forced many men to travel long distances to find work. Bad times for family.

The next war had the same effect and when survivors returned, government encouraged single family home building in suburbs with the G.I. Bill. Now there was no going back to the farm at all. In the fifties divorce became easier and the trend accelerated in the sixties. The great nuclear family experiment soon became the broken family and the nation adopted broken family values. Anericans have not yet begun to realize the harm done by the common separation of grandparents and grandchildren. Raising children is much more difficult than it was a hundred years ago when grandma and grandpa lived next door or no further than cross town.

The families we talk about now usually exclude grandparents. The very word family has come to mean a two generation family a severely handicapped family. It is nearly impossible to enjoy nuclear family togetherness, since two incomes have become necessary to support these pitiful little families and the modern consumer lifestyle. To enjoy the luxury of togetherness it helps to plan for it before the children are born.Yet without grandparents, there is no one wise enough to counsel young couples about planning for the family. Most newlyweds have little experience of togetherness to draw from. Odds are, they enjoyed very little togetherness growing up and barely know what it is.

How do we create this togetherness so few of us have known? Reunite grandchildren and grandparents. Relocate if that is what it takes. See if retired or retiring grandparents will share the costs of a larger house when the housing market collapses. Explain your desire for extended family togetherness with them. If there are no living grandparents find some local lonely folks of their generation to include in family style activities. Encourage interaction between the youngest and oldest members of this re created family. If this is not possible or practical, all your togetherness efforts will be handicapped.

If you choose to create togetherness in a nuclear family, it will likely require lifestyle changes for the parents. Working fewer hours, making less money, buying fewer toys. In most cases togetherness = sacrifices. If the lifestyle has become important to all family members, try starting a small, part time family business. A family activity that can replace lost income and provide education. If the children have reached their teens not knowing togetherness, call a family conference to explain why it ought to be created and get a commitment from all family members to create this togetherness.

I have fond memories of family camping as a boy and a teen. However, the way we did it was a family activity for the travel and setting up camp. After that we scattered except for meals and sleep. It can be done differently. During the season the family could camp one week - end per month. If the children are pre teen you could probably camp every other week - end. Weeknights: One night must be family game night. Interactive games, preferably non electronic. Card games, board games etc. Living single, I miss that the most. Yardwork and home maintenance is another perfect family activity. The work needs to be done and there is no need to assign chores. Do it together. Never done it before? One or two take a class, read a how - to book, then share the know - how. Grow food together, indoors (sprouts) and out (containers - garden plots, fruit and nut trees)

Sing and read together. Read self improvement books together and discuss as you go. Take turns reading aloud and everyone will benefit. Learn one new song each week. One member teaches the song to the others. Do school homework together. I wont tell. The standard education is highly overrated. Plan home improvement projects together and do them together. Do one person jobs in pairs. The awkwardness of it will be good for lots of laughs. Once a month, go out to a movie together. Let each member make a list of ones they would like to see. Pick a movie that will please the most members. Perhaps the very best thing you can do for family togetherness today give your TV to someone you dont like.

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